Spring Musings

I opted to chop back my five forsythias now that they're done blooming. I remember my dad cutting them back drastically when I was a kid. They always seemed to survive and even thrive on this treatment every several years. I want to chop now so they'll have lots of new growth for blooming next spring. Assuming this was not such a bad idea that they'll die -- I don't remember when in the year my dad chopped ours back.

Only three received the radical cut. Sleek has spent the last couple of summers digging a little nest between a couple of them, so I left those slightly taller for shading her nest. I will rue this next year because the two are in the middle and will be more difficult to cut back with the others' new growth, but I won't regret leaving Sleek her nest.

While cutting up the forsythia branches, I noticed a fair amount of noise 2 doors down. Two years ago that house was pretty noisy (for our neighborhood) in the summer, with a lot of late evening outdoor parties. Last year it was markedly quiet. This year noisier again? Same occupants, so perhaps they hoped to lull the neighbors into a false sense that the party year was an aberration.

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Pet sitting this morning, I noticed that two of my clients have the same bedspread! What are the odds of that, I wonder. Made me laugh.

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St. John's Wort may be nearly as expensive as pharmaceutical antidepressants when taken in the massive doses my ND/MD prescribed -- NINE droppersful per day. He still advocates taking either Lexapro or Welbutrin with that dose of St. John's Wort. Usually they say you should not take St. John's Wort with another anti-depressant, but he feels it can be done as long as you account for the SJW when deciding how much of the pharmaceutical to give. He will start me at 5mg of Lexapro if I go that route, or 75mg of Welbutrin.

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Some evil little dog puked on my sweatshirt while in the car this evening. What is that about?

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Pollen season is here. The car needs new wiper blades, but will the pollen mess up the blades too quickly? Will I care if I can't see through either the pollen on the windshield or the streaky arcs left by trying to wash the windshield with wiper fluid? And how much water do I have to drink to dilute the goopy feel of my eyes? Thank heavens for the digestive enzymes that help my body have enough energy left to deal with pollen!

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Have you ever thought about the oxymoronic quality of calling an area of the US mainland the "Pacific Northwest?" This area is on the eastern side of the Pacific Ocean, and there is a lot of Canadian coastline that is further north....

Love is Everywhere*

*Allman Brothers Band "Revival" (http://www.last.fm/music/The+Allman+Brothers+Band/_/Revival to listen)

Okay, I'm starting to put one foot in front of the other to get myself out of this mental hole. I saw a psycologist last week, but I think he's more than I want to pay at this point since finances are one of my stressors, and told several friends that I think I need anti-depressants. This week I've admitted here that I'm in bad shape (THANK YOU, Mrs. G. for your comments over the months. I am grateful!), and made appointments with both my MD/ND and my previous counselor, whom I've not seen for about 3 months. I've also thought about what I didn't accomplish in counseling and my role in the process.

Sleek has been interesting in this. Over the past few days, she has shown some odd physical symptoms like poor digestion and a low amplitude, high frequency vibration in her body. She's looked rather stressed, which worries me because of her cancer. I also noticed the way her hair was lying down her spine was different, which usually means she needs a chiropractic adjustment. Those often help her digestion, too. Today I called the chiropractor's office and was able to get her in on short notice (always stay on good terms with the office staff!). The doc started to check in with her, then he turned to me and asked how I am doing. Because we're friends, I replied that I wasn't doing all that well, brain malfunction, etc. He asked if I would take a bottle of a particular supplement if he gave it to me. Turns out my beloved Sleek has been trying to give me energy to get my brain boosted enough to be functional, and that's why she's feeling a bit drained and lacking enough energy to properly digest her own food. She will get 2 per day of these tablets (and I will give Fluff the same amount because she's been a bit down lately, too) while I need 11 per day!

And I need to avoid all occasions of sin such as white flour, sugar, and starches. Yoiks!

We'll see what happens.

Reel Mower Power

Or, Kabbage is Losing It

I love reel mowers.

When you own one, you can get a bee in your bonnet to whack at some of the grass at 9:30 at night on a work/school night without irking the neighbors. I can't wait to see what my backyard looks like in the morning. My grass is really long, and we had rain most of the weekend. I decided to see if the grass was still short enough to mow by randomly mowing a strip. It is, and I did. Then I started zooming around the yard from taller patch to taller patch in interesting ways. I think I got about half of it mowed. Mowing in something other than straight lines was curiously freeing. Sort of like rolling down hills.

I haven't rolled down hills much lately, although I found doing so very helpful in 2006. I was telling a friend about how bad my depression has been lately, and she asked if I had rolled lately. Huh? I asked. You know, down hills. That really seemed to help you a lot, came the reply.

I hadn't thought about it, but she's right in the sense that I felt like I was making progress back then, and I don't now. I already think I need to try anti-depressants again (yeah, that interesting observation: I have no problem with other people using anti-depressants, but I get extremely pissed off when I think I'd better use them before I become totally non-functional). Getting them into my system and tweaked for the chronic depression would be a good thing before I add acute, situational depression on top by losing Sleek. I don't think there are enough hills to roll down to compensate for losing my Best Blonde (and I'm not talking about Mrs. G., although losing her voice would be depressing, too).