Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Snappy Good Comeback Needed

Scenario: kabbage, sleek, and fluff are returning from their morning walk. when they reach their own yard, kabbage continues across the grass with the dogs still on leash. since sleek is nearly completely deaf, kabbage wants her away from the street (no curbs, for one thing) before turning her loose. car pulls over to the side of the road. middle-aged (older than kabbage, who is mid-40s!) woman lowers the passenger window and asks kabbage something. kabbage has to ask the woman to repeat herself twice before actually hearing the question. woman asks kabbage if she ever wonders what people think about her walking her dogs across their yards. kabbage is dumfounded and stares blankly with mouth open. it's her own fine* yard, for heaven's sake! and this is a total fine* stranger. gradually kabbage's lower jaw begins to waggle as she tells the woman that this in fact her own yard and by the way, did the woman notice the used bag kabbage was carrying? Woman says, "Okay, good" and drives off, leaving kabbage in a highly adrenalized state.

kabbage has come up with some better replies since then (plenty of time to think in the shower!):

  • do you ever wonder about people who make snap judgments about other people's behavior and feel free to share those judgments with the people?
  • do you have cats? do you allow them out of the house unsupervised? pot, kettle, black.
  • do you know the people who live in this house? do you think they'd have a problem with these dogs being in their yard? (this one had the most potential for interesting dialogue going further, if woman answered in the affirmative)
  • bursting into song from Jesus Christ Superstar (where Judas is dissing Mary Magdalene and JC comes down hard on him for being judgmental)
  • saying numerous unprintable words loudly and rapidly

questions for the viewer:

  1. what situations would lead you to pull your car over and comment on someone else's behavior?
  2. was the woman's behavior appropriate? why or why not?
  3. is kabbage over-reacting? why or why not?
  4. what would you have said to the woman if you were in kabbage's shoes? would you have smacked the woman's car with your used bag in the hopes of premature bag failure? why or why not?
  5. would you have apologized after kabbage told you it was her fine* house? why or why not?
  6. do you become apoplectic if someone's dog unloads in your yard but the owner immediately picks up after it? why or why not?

    *fine is the "polite" 4-letter f-word.


Mrs. G. said...

What a busy body! I am fond of the one where you ask her how the owner of the house would feel about it. I would be so interested to know how said owner feels.

I could care less if a dog unloads as long as its owner cleans up. But I don't even have a cow if I come across a stray pile because I had a dog who was prone to running so I know that sh*t does literally happen.

What a twit!

Fuzzy Logic said...

Wwweeeelll... I'm partially guilty of this offence...

I was walking Targ one day and saw a woman walking her Akita off leash... (fear number one) and then saw her dog walk into a yard, and poop... then saw the dog go back to the woman who put a harness on him and walked away..

I yelled (from a safe distance) Are you going to pick that up?! (mostly becuase I was ticked that I had to worry about an off leash Akita in an urban neighborhood where there is Poo everywhere and a ton of off leash dogs who attack.

She yelled back "It's MY YARD and My dog is DEAF You... (insert a steady stream of profanities)


Ari_1965 said...

I will go so far as to say, with a pleasant fake smile, "I have an extra bag" as I look meaningfully from the person to the poop back to the person again. But that's at the dog park. Pulling over in your car to chastise someone is more than a bit confrontational. Rude, too. Did this woman not get to be a hall monitor when she was a child?