Villain: May I speak to the lady of the house?
Hero: We don’t have one of those.
Villain: Well, then may I speak to the man of the house?
Hero (offendedly): We CERTAINLY don’t have one of those!
Villain: Then are you the adult of the house?
Hero (pausing): Maybe.
Villain decides this part of the conversation is going nowhere productive, so opts to go into canned spiel, which deals with television and ratings. Hero lets Villain run for a bit, then when Villain pauses for breath, Hero strikes.
Hero: None of us here watch TV.
Villain (realizing this is a lost cause): Thank you for your time